ots@ohrtorahstone.org.il

Question: Is it necessary to have separate seating at a wedding, specifically the Chuppah and/or the wedding dinner?

Answer: Regarding the Chuppah- According to our Sages, a Chuppah and Kiddushin require a minyan of men and this is referred to as a “davar b’kedushah.” A “davar b’kedushah” in a synagogue (such as “Barchu” and “Kedushah”) require a separation (mechitza) between men and women. Therefore, there are those who are strict and insist upon separate seating during the wedding ceremony.

On the other hand, most wedding ceremonies do not take place in a synagogue and even if the ceremony is in a synagogue, the Chuppah itself by nature is mixed - with the bride, groom and their families all together. Therefore, there are those who are not strict in this matter. It is incumbent upon every family to make its own decision.

Regarding the wedding dinner- The Rambam (Maimonides) requires separate seating only at the Yom Tov meal where it is a mitzvah to celebrate with wine. Mixed seating together with drinking of wine can lead to “kalut rosh,” a lightness of the mind. Since the Rambam indicates only this seudah as requiring separate seating, we can infer that at other seudot one may sit mixed, even at a seudat mitzvah of a wedding. There is another positive aspect to mixed seating at weddings; there are often many young single men and women, friends of the bride and groom, who by sitting together may meet and which could lead to more weddings B’ezrat Hashem.

It goes without saying that there must be a complete separation between men and women during the dancing.

If you have a question for Q & A, send it to ots@ohrtorahstone.org.il . We cannot guarantee that all questions received will be answered in this column.

Previous 'Q&As':
Relating to

• What written material requires geniza?
• When is one permitted to shave – if at all – during Sefirat Haomer?
• Should visitors to Israel keep one or two days of Yom Tov
• The balance between the mitzvah of drinking on Purim and the importance of balanced sobriety
• Eating before Shul on Shabbat
• Laws of Mourning
• Halachic Status of Smoking
• Pikuach Nefesh on Shabbat
• Laws of Maaser
• Laws of Lashon Hara pertaining to the 'listener'. 
• Reprimanding a fellow davener who is chatting during davening
• The definition of "joyous occasion" that one is not permitted to take part in during the "three weeks"
• Tay Sachs and other genetic testing for students
• tircha detzibura - causing hardship to the congregation
• Grape Juice for the "Four Cups"
• Kashrut in anothers home
• Studying secular subjects on Shabbat
• "Torah u'Maddah" and "Torah and Derech Eretz"
• Etrog Jam
• Commonly asked questions about Friday night kiddush
• Source of various customs of waiting between eating meat and milk
• Comfort declaration at Shiva house
• Recitation of Av Haarachamim
• Mayim Acharonim
• Amira lagoy
• Maaser Kessafim
• Where to light Hannukah lights
• Women dancing with sefer torah
• Individual's feeling of security
• Differing Berachot when male/female born
• Eating dairy meals on Shabbat
• Visiting Israel and the security situation
• Playing football on Shabbat
• Shmitta laws
• Kitniyot on Pesach
• Driving throught Judea, Samaria and Gaza
• Inebriation on Purim
• Travelling to India and vegetarian food
• Laws of mourning
• Expressing disapproval of chillul shabbat
• Interpretation of dreams
• Women's Minyanim
• Refrigerators on Shabbat
• Succah
• Tzeddaka
• Muktsa and Marketing campaigns

Return to Ohr Torah Stone