Question: What ought be my response when a person speaks to me in negative terms about someone else? I don't want to be "Holier than thou", but at the same time I believe that it is wrong for me to listen to such talk. Or am I exempt from culpability since the other person is doing the talking and I am only a passive listener?

Answer: The Talmud insists that the lives of 3 people can be destroyed as a result of slander: the one who speaks it, the one who listens to it, and the one about whom it is spoken. In another context, the Talmud says, "It is not the mouse who is the thief of the cheese but rather the hole into which the mouse deposits the cheese." The Talmud is saying - in terms of your question - that if there were no one willing to listen to this slander and accept the hateful words, no one would be enticed into speaking slander in the first place.

It is important to note that there are actually 3 specific negative prohibitions surrounding the subject of slander, as defined by Maimonides. The first prohibition is against tale bearing (rekhilut), which is defined as merely saying something which may seem to be without negative connotations, but which is no ones business. An individual transgresses this prohibition if he tells someone else that a third party bought an expensive house or a beautiful new car.

The second prohibition is against evil talk (lashon hara) which is defined as a negative report about a third party which is true but nevertheless ought not be spread unless it will save harm from falling to others.

The third prohibition is against untrue statements about a third party (motsi shem ra) which is obviously slander which we usually associate with the prohibition at hand.

Apparently the best way of avoiding these prohibitions is by training oneself to speak about issues and contents rather than people.